The Tears Series
by Storyspinnerbah
Summary: When she can't understand his heart anymore, and he can't tell her how to understand, it may take some help to fix the situation.
1. Tears Become Her

Tears Series

By Bahocean

Tears become her.

They fill her brown eyes and roll down her cheeks like they were scripted for the moment.

Her eyes don't get red, her face doesn't get blotchy.

But that doesn't make her agony any less real.

She's out the door, running again.

She's gotten everything she wanted. And she's leaving it all behind.

Her relationship with Bobby ended as all relationships should: mutually and friendly. He was still her best buddy, Bobby.

After six months, she started dating her "hero", her Logan. She was so happy, so free. They had found a way around her skin, and become lovers.

Her life was going great, until tonight.

Logan had called out another name.

HER name.

Marie had given in and touched him. Just for a moment.

Then she realized the truth.

He wanted another woman, a dead woman.

Two years dead.

Forget the relationship he shared with her.

Forget everything that had happened between them.

He wanted Jean.

Logan didn't love Marie.

She thought that feeling would tear her apart.

She was a substitute for the woman he couldn't have.

She could never tell him her secret now.

Tears become her.

She cries them as if they are at home on her deadly skin.

But she had a life to live…two lives.

And she'd have to get past the tears.

End Part 1


	2. He Awoke Alone

He Awoke Alone

He awoke alone.

That was unusual for him since he'd been with Marie.

He also felt weak and dizzy, something else that was rare... unless Marie was around and had touched him skin-to-skin.

Then he realized what had happened.

Jean. He'd dreamed of Jean. One of those dreams he'd had for years.

Picturing her beneath him.

He'd called out her name.

Marie must have heard.

So she'd touched him.

They'd found out that if Marie touched him right after a nightmare, she drained them from his memory. HE wouldn't accept that kind of help before they'd become lovers, but afterwards… he never wanted to again wake up with Marie shish-kabobed on his claws.

She'd seen.

Seen what he'd tried to hide.

She'd left him alone.

He'd never wanted her to see.

Because although he'd cared for Jean in his heart, Marie was in his bed.

And he'd never wanted her to know she'd ever been a substitute.

Because she had.

Even if only for a short time.

Damn. Why? Why did he have one of those stupid dreams NOW? NOW, when Marie was so much to him?

He'd find her. She had to be on the grounds somewhere. She'd be easier to find that way. He'd explain to her the truth of what she'd seen.

She wasn't a substitute for Jean.

Jean was a substitute for her.

He awoke alone.

He hoped that would never happen again.

End Part 2


	3. Emotions Overwhelm Her

Part 3

Emotions Overwhelm Her

**Authors Dedication: Thanks so much for the nice things I've heard from TX peppa and NahSnape! Always make me feel good to make people feel sad! Tee Hee!**

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

/telepathic conversation/ ~emotional thoughts~

Emotions overwhelm her.

Hate, love, anger, pain, contentment, sadness, sanity, insanity… if she had not developed shields these emotions would have destroyed her by now.

She owed her sanity to Charles.

Thinking of which…

/Emote?/

Ouch. She hadn't been expecting that. Should have.

/Yes, Professor?/

Good. She managed to send through her shields.

/I need your help./

/YOU?/

/Yes./~amusement~ /I am not perfect, as you well know. Occasionally, even I need help./

She thought. He'd saved her sanity once, kept her alive by personally holding her shields until she'd gained enough control to do it herself, somehow in the process gaining some of his telepathy. She owed him.

/Ask./

/A young woman I'm very fond of has run away. She has asked I not use Cerebro to find her, and I haven't, but I'm very concerned for her. Can you keep a look out for her?/

/Why did she run?/

/I'm not sure./ ~Anguish, grief, love~

/OW! Professor!/

~Guilt~ /Sorry. Please, Emote. She's so confused./

BLAST! She hated this. She'd have a headache for a week.

/Send me her signature and her name./

She'd been able to track people by their emotions since she'd gained her control. People feel emotions different ways and if could find their emotional "blueprint", she'd have the key.

/Rogue. Thank you./ ~Gratitude, love~

/ Yeah, yeah/ ~fondness~

~Anger, fear, betrayal, hope, love, pain, jealousy~

OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

/PROFESSOR! That Hurts!/

/That bad?/~Sarcasm~

/If that were me, I'd be dying inside. Tell her mate to stay where he is, at least for now./

/How did you…/ ~Puzzled~

/Empath, remember? He hurt her, emotionally. Not sure how. She needs time. ~Anger, fear, betrayal, hope, love, pain, jealousy~ Uh, Professor?/

/Yes?/

/I found her. Stay there! No X-men! No mate! Just me. Gotta go./

Emotions overwhelm her when she's not prepared.

But if other people's emotions overwhelm her, it was nothing to the way the girl standing in front of her was feeling about her own emotions.

Emote knew she had to help.

Before "Rogue's emotions overwhelmed her even more.

End Part 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men characters. My OC's, however, are all mine!**


	4. Help Has Arrived

Part 4

Help Has Arrived

**A/N: Feel I should tell you, this point will be slightly different.**

/telepathic conversation/ ~feelings~

Emote looked around for the woman emitting that strange signature of emotions. She'd been contacted by the Professor to help his friend Rogue. If she could.

~Anger, fear, betrayal, hope, love, pain, jealousy~ There it was. She stopped right in front of her and spoke, loud enough for Rogue to hear, soft enough for only Rogue.

"Would you mind not feeling so loud? I'm getting a headache."

Rogue stopped, startled. She looked at the woman. Long blond hair, eyes of green, about her height and obviously insane.

The other woman smiled. "Nope, just mutant."

Emote looked her over. Her height, brown and platinum hair, brown eyes and so much pain and suspicion.

"Charles says hello."

Rogue was too surprised to say anything but, "You know the Professor? You're a mutant?"

"Yes to both. And before you ask. No, he doesn't know where you are. He just knows the general area of where I am. I need my space from the mutant world, and I won't drag you back."

"Who are you?"

"Code name's Emote. I'm empath/telepath. You're Rogue."

Rogue liked this woman, but was still wary. After what had happened three days ago, trusting anyone was difficult. "What do you want from me?"

"To help you. At the very least give you a place to stay and some food. Anything else I can help you with, you ask and I'll see what I can do. No guarantees."

"Rogue nodded. "What's your name?" She couldn't believe she trusted this woman. But she had trusted Logan on far less information. Logan. ~pain~

Emote winced. Rogue was strong. They'd work on that.

"Name's Angelica."

"Marie."

"Well, Marie, no fears. Help has arrived."

End Part 4


	5. Calming Him Down

Part 5

Calming Him Down

The Professor was battling a headache. Calming down an angry, feral mutant worried about his mate and feeling guilty about why she left was not as easy as it may seem.

"Where is she?"

"Logan…" How did he keep Wolverine here? Emote didn't explain that to him. Or maybe HE hadn't explained Logan well enough to her. "She's okay. You need to give her time."

Logan shot out of the seat he'd been perched on. "I can't, Chuck. I can't help worrying about her. She's out there all alone. Without any help," he finished softly. /Without me/ His head fell at the thought.

Xavier's heart felt for Logan. To have gone through everything he had, losing his life, gaining his claws, finally finding his mate, and have her run from him because of something obviously big must be devastating. He couldn't begin to understand.

"Logan, she's not alone. I have asked a friend to help her." Logan's head jerked up.

"Where's your friend?"

Charles shook his head. "I wouldn't tell you if I knew."

"Then how did…"

"I ask?" Xavier tapped his temple. "I thought of her. She is also a telepath."

"Do I know her?" Logan asked, puzzled.

"No. She was never an X-Man per se, but she was a student of mine. She prefers peace and quiet, but she believes she owes me, and I believe she will help Rogue ease her pain. But she needs TIME, Logan. Do you want her back?"

"Oh, yes." Logan said, longing filling his voice.

"Then let my friend help her heal. Give her a few days, at least."

Logan shook his head. "I don't think I can."

"Then you may never have her back."

Logan swung on Charles. "WHAT?"

Xavier sighed. Sometimes, Logan's instincts to shoot first, shoot again, shoot some more, and then ask questions of survivors could be a good thing. Not in this case. But convincing Logan to give Rogue time without getting sliced into little molecules would be a tricky tightrope to roll down. But try he would, for the two mates had to be whole separately before they could be whole together. Emote could hold that key. If Logan would LISTEN.

"She was a runaway when you met her, and she absorbed you, a man on the run from memories. Her first instinct is to hide and lick her wounds. What would you do if the positions were reversed? She…needs… TIME. Give her that. If she truly loves you, and wants you back, she will find a way to make peace with what happened. Love her enough to give her that."

* * *

Logan went looking for Storm. She might help him.

"Storm, do you know all the Professor's old students?"

"Most of them, why?"

"Because there's a telepath I want to find."

He'd give this woman time: three days, like the Professor said. But he'd know the name of the woman helping his mate.

It would help calm him down.

End Part 5


	6. In the Zone

Part 6

In the Zone

**A/N: Thanks everybody for reading! I appreciate it so much!**

Emote opened the door to her house outside the town limits. Rogue followed, a little apprehensive. She'd never met another mutant away from the X-Men before. She wondered if she had made a mistake. But something told her this woman would be trustworthy.

/Thanks./

Rogue looked over at Emote, startled. Emote looked surprised and abashed herself.

"Oops. Sorry… Wait a minute." She looked puzzled. "Think something else."

Rogue shrugged. She thought of the first time she'd met Logan. ~Pain, anger, hurt, fear, hope, love, love betrayed~

/OOOOOWWWWWW! Off, shut it OFF!/

Emote had clasped her hands to her head in a silent scream.

Quickly Rogue thought desperately of something else. Mississippi in winter was one of her favorite memories.

Emote looked at Rogue in awe. "Wow. That's never happened here."

"What?"

Emote looked thoughtful. "When I first moved here, my control was erratic at best. I built this place with special materials to retard my `hearing' other people's feelings. It doesn't hurt them, keeps me from headaches. You must be very powerful to overwhelm the buffers."

"Yeah, but it does me no good if I can't control it." ~Sadness, longing.~ /Wanna LOOK normal./

Emote winced at the strength of her feelings projected. "Your skin?"

"Yeah."

Emote thought for a moment. "I can try to help if you want. No guarantees though, I'm not a magician. I can't "cure" you."

"How can you help?"

Emote smiled. "Help you work through your feelings of course."

Rogue looked puzzled. "Huh?"

"I'm an empath. I `hear' feelings. You've been conflicted about almost everything in your life for years. You can't find your `switch' to control your ability because, I believe, your feelings are in the way. Maybe-just maybe—I can help you clear out the conflict enough for you to find the control."

Rogue was startled. ~HOPE~ "You really think so."

Emote cautioned. "I can TRY. It may not work. At the least, it might help you release some of those personalities running around your head. But it's up to you."

Rogue thought for a moment. She knew it was a risk. But Emote was right. With every person she touched, there was less room for her in her mind, and she could tell she was getting dangerously unstable. She owed to herself…and her secret… to try.  
"What happens?"

Emote smiled. "Well, we'll work in "the Zone" as my nephew calls it. It's the room I use to fine tune my gifts, so it's not buffered. We'll end up with headaches every night, but hopefully, we'll find results. Eating and sleeping will be essential…for all three of us."

"How…"

"It's your hope. It's why you're willing to try this. You want to hold something, hold it."

"Did you tell…"

"No, no one knows but me. I didn't know until I met you. And I won't tell," Angelica said to Marie.

"Thanks." Rogue took a deep breath. "Where do we start?"

End Part 6

Paste your document here...


	7. Traveling on Empty

Part 7

Traveling on Empty

**A/N: There's a quote from one of my favorite books in here. Good luck if you can find it!**

/telepathy/

Logan was on the road four days later. He'd snuck the information he'd needed out of an unsuspecting Storm, packed the school's SUV and was after Marie. He knew she was upset with him. Hell, he'd be lucky if she didn't rip him a new one. But he had to see her. To know she was okay. Even to hold her...if she'd let him near her after his stupid mental stunt.

She held the other half of his soul.

What a mess he was in. He pulled over to the side of the road, reached into his pocket and pulled out the small box he'd been carrying around for weeks. He'd been trying to work up the courage to ask her since that day. Then, Fear had set in.

It was a sad day indeed when the Wolverine was scared of the feelings a young woman engendered in him. She'd been a part of his life for years—the best part of his life. What if he lost her, he'd thought. How would he survive?

Well, now he had lost her…maybe for good.

NOOOOOO! He couldn't think that way. He needed her. She was the softer part of himself. She made him strong. Without her, he never would have found a purpose. Never would have cared about another person. Too caught up in finding his past to think about his future.

He'd brought the SUV because taking the cycle meant he and Marie wouldn't be able to talk. And he loved talking to Marie. Even before they'd become lovers, some of his best nights had been spent with his Rogue, talking and laughing `bout stuff. He'd never been a talker before Marie. He got the feeling that if he couldn't fix this, if she left him, he'd never talk again. That every good and decent bit of humanity he had in him was because of a young woman who'd smuggled herself into his truck, then his life…and now his heart.

Logan growled softly. It was almost embarrassing, what being without Rogue had driven him to. He'd asked Scott's advice. Scooter! Kid would never let him live it down, but at the same time, Scott understood being without the woman your heart called to. The SUV had been Scooter's idea. "Talk to her where she can't pretend she can't hear you," was his advice. Great. If it worked, he and Marie would have to name their first child after the dweeb. Logan shook his head ruefully. It amazed him to this day how well he and One-eye got along after Jean…

He paused, slowed down. Jean. The name didn't tear at him anymore. He still felt sadness at a life snuffed out but it more the sadness at the loss of a friend. How odd. It had been so long since he had bothered examining his grief.

Since shortly before Marie.

Marie was fond of romances. There was one she'd quoted to him once. She said the hero had been so intent on punishing himself for crimes against his own mind he'd hurt the woman he loved doing it. "He'd gotten so used to an old song he couldn't hear that a new one had begun. As if he'd fallen into a mental rut and couldn't see his way out of it", she'd read to him one day. He'd gotten the feeling at the time she'd been trying to tell him somethin', but he hadn't heard until just now.

Until his heart was traveling on empty without her by his side.

He pulled back on the road and stepped on the gas. He'd hurt her. His mate. If any other man had done so, Logan would have pulled the man's intestines out through his nose. But Logan had hurt her. Now he had to fix it. He had to find a way to heal what he had broken.

Before he was permanently stuck traveling on empty.

End Part 7


	8. Fear and Trust

Part 8

Fear and Trust

**Okay, to bore you, the book mentioned in the last part is "Lost Warriors" by Rachel Lee. The hero is a Vietnam vet tormented by his past, the heroine a woman twenty years younger than he. I thought the quote fit. Normally Emote's emotions would be explained in words not ~feelings~ but I wanted the reader to see what she felt while in contact with Rogue's mind. Also when I switched to Marie and Angelica, I was speaking of their `human' aspects, or rather their more vulnerable aspects. Hope you like it. /telepathic thoughts/~feelings~**

Frustration was a dangerous thing for an empath to feel, especially doubled like it was. After four sessions with Rogue, they were no closer to a solution to her skin.

Emote knew she was arrogant. It came with the control over her power she had mastered. But she was afraid that if she couldn't help Rogue, the young woman would believe that no one could, and would give up completely… on all fronts. Rogue's relationships with everyone important to her was at stake. She knew it was something simple, a complex riddle wrapped in an enigma. They just had to find the right key to unlock the question of WHY Rogue's mutation was on all the time.

Because Emote had an idea of the answer. Her certainty had grown with every session. But the last piece hadn't fallen into place…until now.

Emote was struck by a thought. "Rogue, project."

Rogue looked puzzled. "What?"

"Project your feelings."

"I'm not?" ~surprise, curiosity~

"No. Well, you weren't." Emote thought for a minute. Something was really odd. "Can I `read' you?"

Rogue shrugged. "Yes."

Emote gave her no chance to change her mind. She `grabbed' Rogue's thoughts. Though not nearly the telepath Xavier was, she was no slouch at it.

/Rogue?/

/Yes?/

/You trust me./

~confusion~ /Yes?/

/No, that's not a question. ~Enlightenment~ Touch me./

/What?/

/Touch my hand./ Angelica reached out to Marie.

~FEAR~

/TOUCH ME/

Marie reached for Angelica. As their bare hands met, nothing happened.

"Oh my goodness!" ~HAPPINESS~

"Thought so." Emote was satisfied.

"Is it… the cub?"

Emote giggled. "No, it's not your `cub'. Cute, you're channeling Logan. It's you." She paused. "You're not gonna like what I say."

~Confusion~ "What?"

"What happens between a man and woman is not usually one person's fault. It takes two." Emote waited.

Rogue nodded. "So you're saying that Logan calling out Jean's name is my fault?" ~upset, trying to understand~

"No, but your reaction to it is. You chose to run rather than fight. Why?"

Rogue thought. Emote had told her that her alter ego, Angelica, was a therapist. She knew there was a reason behind the questions. "Because I didn't want to hear excuses?"

Emote shook her head. "Nope. Try again."

"Because I knew the answer already. I'm a substitute for a dead woman." ~Anguish~

Emote was sympathetic but persistent. "You're not but that's not the reason. Rogue, you're an X-person. You've faced certain death every day. Physical pain every mission. So why run when the emotions get high?"

Marie thought. "I'm not really sure."

"Want me to answer?"

"Yes, please." ~Anticipation~

Emote smiled. "Fear. And trust."

~Puzzlement~ /Huh?/ "Huh?"

Emote laughed. "Trust." As Rogue continued to look puzzled, she expounded. "You trust me, so I am able to enter your mind without blocks. Conversely, I am unable to hear your feelings when you are distracted by something else. You don't have to concentrate to block me out, same as with me. Because you trust me not to hurt you emotionally, I am unhurt by your skin physically."

"So why can't I touch Logan?" ~Skepticism, fear, love~

"Because you don't trust him not to hurt you." At the look on her friend's face, she explained. "Rogue, you're like a wild animal. Someone you trusted hurt you once. David kissed you and you imprinted him. You hurt him physically, but he scalded you emotionally. So you're afraid of touch. You trusted Logan enough to hide in his truck and then he hurt you, first by stabbing you (physically), then by preferring Jean to you (emotionally). You trusted Bobby, and that relationship ended, mutually and without regrets, but it still ended. Another emotional wound. Almost everyone you've trusted has hurt you. So your defense against your emotional wounds is your physical mutation. If you don't trust anyone enough to touch you physically, they can't hurt you emotionally. That kinda backfired on you, though, when Logan finally claims you, then pulls this stunt. Now you're really hurt AND `untouchable'."

"But I love Logan!" ~Indignation~

"Yes, but you don't TRUST him." Emote was gentle. She had to lead Rogue to the right truth carefully.

"Yes I do."

Emote didn't say a word, just arched an eyebrow.

"I do!"

"I know you LOVE him, sweetheart, but if you trusted him, you wouldn't have run. You would have stayed and fought. But it's more than that."

"What?"

"You don't trust yourself."

~CONFUSION~ "What?"

Emote explained. "I went into your mind, remember? You don't trust yourself enough not to hurt him. You're afraid of gaining control, getting mad at Logan or Xavier, and using your skin against them. That's where the fear comes in. You're afraid of the possibilities of hurting others, of taking what they won't willingly give. So you tell yourself that you're safer being untouchable. You have no faith in yourself."

~Sadness~ "No, I don't."

"Sweetie, I know you love Logan with all your heart. But love isn't complete, isn't REAL, without trust. In order to love him with all your SOUL, you have to trust him. And you can't do that without trusting yourself." Angelica reached out and held Marie. "I trust you to love yourself—and Logan, and that `cub' you made together—enough to find the switch that's holding you hostage to your genes. Can you trust me enough to help you?"

Marie looked at Angelica, Rogue looking at Emote. ~Fear, longing, HOPE, love~ It was hard. Emote was asking for more than anyone ever had before—faith. But on a long journey, you have to start somewhere. Marie took a deep breath… and touched Angelica's bare hand with her bare hand. "Yes."

End Part 8


	9. Discovering the Empath

Part 9

Discovering the Empath

**A/N: I appreciate all the reviews and thank everyone who's still reading. Keep up the good work!**

/telepathic thoughts/ ~feelings~

Logan looked at the sign of the town he was entering. Redmond, NC. Population 998.

Great. A metropolis. Well, compared to where he'd been living it was a big city. Salem Center and Westchester were for rich people, so not many chose—or could afford—to live there.

But this was where the telepath Storm had told him about lived.

Where Marie was.

Now he just had to find her.

* * *

Emote had been on emotional edge all day. She couldn't quite understand why, but she knew better than to ignore it. Last time she'd felt like this, her powers had increased and she'd wound up having to stay out of town for weeks.

She looked at Rogue. This was the first time the two mutants had been out in town since they'd met a week ago. The onslaught of extra feelings wasn't from her, so where… aaahhhh. Of course.

~Love, anger, possessiveness, fear, guilt, hope~ Rogue's emotional signature with a feral twist.

Part of Emote's power was that she could track someone by their emotions. People left them on everything they touched. It made her a good tracker.

"Rogue." Rogue looked at her. "He's nearby."

She looked around. "Where?"

"Stop looking. You'll be conspicuous. Do you want to talk to him?"

Rogue thought. She still loved Logan. Still wanted him around. But truthfully, she wasn't ready yet to deal with what seeing him would mean. She had a few more issues to work out. "Not today. I'm not there yet."

Emote nodded. "Thought so. Camo?"

All of a sudden, the shadows changed. A green-haired, green-eyed woman appeared, wearing black clothes and a hunted look. "Yes?"

Rogue jumped a little at the appearance of this mutant. Emote smiled. "Rogue, this is Cammy Geldren, better known as Camo. Camo, this is Marie. I need you to take her to the cabin for tonight." Rogue and Camo looked at each other. Emote laughed. "Camo found me the first week I moved here. She helped me out a lot. I trust you both."

Camo looked at Emote. "Can I be disguised?"

Emote's face softened. Since Camo had come into her mutant abilities, turning her hair and eyes green overnight, she had been hunted down by some of the close-minded members of the human race. She had finally found safety and protection here, but the young woman was still afraid of walking the streets in her "normal" form. She much preferred her chameleon like ability to blend into the scenery. "Of course."

Rogue spoke to Camo. "I like your hair. Green's my favorite color."

Camo smiled. She liked this young woman. "Thank you."

Emote smiled. "Go. Bring her back to my house at 1:00 tomorrow, 'k?"

"`K." Camo's gloved hand took Rogue's ungloved one. The two women turned the color of the building behind them, and seemed to disappear. Emote nodded, satisfied. She turned. Time to find the Wolverine.

* * *

Logan was sniffing out Marie close by. He knew she was here, but where…? Ah ha.

He turned expecting to see a brunette with white streaks standing there. Instead, he found a blonde woman. She was leaning against the building, an amused smile on her face.

She spoke. "She's not here. Not yet, anyway."

All he could say was, "You smell like her."

"She hugged me."

Logan advanced on the woman. "Where is she?"

The woman straightened. "Elsewhere. She won't talk to you tonight, and if you find her and try to force her, you'll drive her further away. She's not ready yet."

Logan growled in frustration. This woman was keeping him from his mate. He wished he could beat it out of her…

/But you're not that type of man. Not unless the woman is attacking you first./

He jerked. She lifted an eyebrow at him. /Forgot, didn't you? What did Storm tell you?/

"How do you know Storm…?"

"Told you? Professor promised me he wouldn't tell you, so unless it endangered his precious X-Men, he'd keep that promise. Scott doesn't know where I live. Jean's dead, so Storm's the only one left. Besides, she's the only X-Man to have my address. How do I know Storm? I was one of Xavier's recruits."

Logan heard the hint of veiled dislike when this woman mentioned Jean. "Not a fan of Dr. Grey?"

She shrugged. "Oh, she's all right, when she wasn't trying to `compete' with her class- and teammates. She always thought she had to prove something to everyone. I could feel it." At Logan's surprise, she realized she'd been rude. "Sorry. Name's Emote. I'm a telepath, true, but that's not my strong point. I'm an empath. My gift is feelings. I can read them like a book. And yours are overwhelming my shields. No wonder Marie loves you. You're a perfect match."

~Love, possessiveness, pride, guilt, anger, frustration, hope~ "Really?"

"Yes. Now, Rogue loves you. She wants to be with you. But her problems, until recently, were tripping her up. Now we need to work with yours. Are you willing?"

Logan had never held with that namby-pamby wishy-washy `feelings' crap. But he had found, in his time both with and without Marie, that they were all about feelings. If she was trying to heal their relationship by facing HERS, the least he could do was face HIS.

He held out his hand. "Logan."

She shook his "Angelica."

And off they went.

End part 9


	10. Talking with Feelings

Part 10

Talking with Feelings

A/N: This part may seem OOC for the Wolverine, but I'm putting him through some grief, basically because I can! (evil grin) But it also deals with past parts and helps build for the future. Also, this part is longer since there's gonna be some interesting conversations goin' on. Hope you like them! /telepathic/ ~feelings~

Emote opened the door to her house. Stepping back, she allowed the Wolverine to enter first. She could tell from her talks with his mate and her own observations that he would want to check out any place he entered.

She let him explore to his heart's content, but after ten minutes, she went looking for him. She found him in Marie's room, stroking the bedspread of the bed she'd slept in, the stuffed wolverine he'd given her for her birthday held in the other hand.

~Loss, fear, love, hope, rage, sadness, guilt~

OOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!

/Logan, tone the feelings DOWN!/

/Huh?/

/Turn…it…down! Take your emotions and dim them…like this…/ Emote showed Rogue's other half the technique to dampen emotions. (Since Emote's shields were at full power, she was not yet able to tune out strong projectors like Rogue and Logan.)

"Sorry."

"It's okay. You didn't do it on purpose."

She moved over and sat down next to him. "Logan, she loves you. She has ever since she met you. But she's also been hurt and had to work through that. She couldn't do that with you cause you'd hurt her."

Logan winced. "You don't pull your punches, do ya?"

"Nope, can't. If I did, you'd be in for a world of trouble."

Logan thought for a minute. He got the gist of what she was saying. If she let him get away with what he'd done to his Marie, even unintentionally, he'd be more likely to do it again. He knew Marie. She may be able to forgive him once—and he was praying to every deity he could think of that the second biggest miracle of his life would occur—but if he screwed up again, hurt her again, she'd walk out of his life again. He was barely handling their separation now. He'd never survive a second time.

"Can I fix it?"

Emote smiled. "Not on your own. Rogue has issues of her own to work with. She's made some progress, but the rest will take time."

Logan was afraid of the answer to his next question. "Time alone?" He could handle it-barely- if the answer was yes, but he had to see her first, to know she was okay. Then, he'd crawl under a rock and hide… IF the answer was yes.

Emote thought for a minute. She knew the answer he was expecting, and the one she was going to give him.

"No, not time alone. Actually, she needs to learn how to deal with her problems WITHOUT running away."

Logan perked up. That sounded good. "So I can help her? I can be a part of the solution?"

Emote smiled. "Maybe. But first, we have a little work to do on you."

Logan groaned. That didn't sound good.

~*~*~*~*

Logan and Emote sat in the Zone, getting ready for their first session. Emote was explaining what would happen.

"My ability is empathy. Professor says I'm one of the strongest he's met. Anyway, I can `see' and `hear' feelings and the thoughts attached to them can filter through as well. What I'm going to do is use my telepathy to try to pinpoint the problem."

"Problem?" Logan growled.

Emote nodded. "Yep. You don't think either a dream or Rogue's problems caused this rift between you two all by themselves huh? Don't you want to know WHY?"

Logan looked reluctant. "I guess."

Emote snorted in her mind. MEN!

"Okay. Your problem starts with an inability to trust. Understandable with what you've through, but it's affecting every relationship in your life."

"Please." Logan looked skeptical.

"Do you want to fix your relationship with Rogue or not?"

"Yes."

"Then try it my way. You don't like it, you can act otherwise."

Logan lowered his head. "Okay."

"It started back before you can remember." Emote couldn't concentrate. She put her hands to her temples. It helped her focus. "You woke up in the snow almost twenty years ago with no memory of your past and metal claws. You knew people had done that to you, so you stopped trusting them. Worked well for ya for fifteen years. No connections, no responsibilities…how am I doing?"

"On target so far." Emote smirked. "Then came…Laughlin City. You're doing what you always do…fighting all challengers, making some money, drowning your liver, when all of a sudden you sense someone's eyes on you. You look over… and spot your future."

"Spot on. How?"

"Let me finish. That's your first thought. Your second is, Not possible. After all, she's a kid. She's too young. But it doesn't override your first instinct."

~Anger, realization, shame, love, possessiveness~

"There's no shame in finding your heart's other half, Logan. You didn't take advantage did ya? So, you do what you always do…run, though this time you run mentally. Then she warns you of the fight and claws come out, and you sense she's fascinated with you. You can't believe that she wasn't scared, so now you run physically. You think you're safe, then you smell her in your camper. You try to leave her behind a second time, but you can't. That's when you start making connection-emotional connections."

~Belligerence~ "Oh, yeah? If Marie was my future, why didn't I know it? And what about Jean?"

Emote shook her head. "Denial. You didn't believe what you were feeling. So you buried. Plus, although you LIKE women, you weren't about to take a minor to bed, despite the fact that your heart insisted you claim her.

"So when you and she were attacked by Sabretooth, then you met Jean, you `transferred' your feelings to an acceptable substitute. But you forgot one thing."

"What?"

"Love doesn't always follow acceptable patterns. So when Marie was kidnapped, you went after her, because your heart couldn't bear the thought of her gone. She's…" Emote paused. The word was eluding her. "your peace."

"My peace?"

"Yes. Everything in your world could be chaos, but you would still feel okay if she was near. She's your calm."

Logan thought for a moment. That was true. He felt easier when she was close, like the world was his when she was safe and happy. `Calm' explained how she made him feel. "So why would I leave her?" He already knew her answer, but he was enjoying the story.

/Do I really need to answer you?/ ~amusement~

/Please./

"Okay. You had two reasons. One and probably most important, you needed to put some sort of closure to your past. Two, to let Marie grow up. Same reason you came back. You didn't stay because you wanted help or even because of the cause. You stayed because of her."

"You know this how…"

"Because it's the reason Marie didn't leave after graduation. You were there… She wanted to be nowhere else."

~HOPE~ "Really? Then why-" /Did I dream of Jeannie?/

"Because fear set in. You were afraid of pushing her, of moving too fast, of giving up your freedom. You didn't know that she MADE you free. Did that help?"

"So how do I fix it?"

"You remember how you felt on the top of the Statue of Liberty when you thought she was dead. What scares you more, being `tied' to Marie, or being without her?"

Wolverine had long had a reputation as a fighter you didn't want to cross. Too many men who had hit on his Marie had found that out the hard way. Now, at the simple and complicated question she had asked, fear filled his every aspect. Fighting was the last thing on his mind… unless it was for Rogue. His love.

Emote smiled. "I thought so."

Logan looked at Emote ~Curiosity~ "How did you know?"

"Been there. I was so afraid of human feelings, of seeing the emotions, I locked myself down. I dated guys, those who knew about my mutation and those who didn't. None worked out. Then I dated mutants, and that was almost as bad. But I found a guy I really liked, a human who has a mutant mother. And he started getting tired of being the only one in the relationship trying to break down the walls. He was in an accident that almost killed him, and my best friend asked me the same question. My answer was the same as yours. We're still going strong." Love was everywhere around Emote, Angelica. Logan could smell the joy as she talked of her love. He knew what he had to do.

Now he just had to convince Marie to let him do it.

End Part 10


	11. Dealing With Heartache

Part 11

Dealing with Heartache

/telepathic/ ~feelings~

Emote looked at Logan. "It's been a long day, and you need some rest. It won't be much better tomorrow."

Logan looked at her as they left the Zone. "You precognitive too?"

"Nope, just know you both. "

"So did you really read the story of my and Marie's first meeting?"

"Yeah, I did. Read the same story in Marie's mind. Actually, for different reasons and with different results, she felt the same about you. "

"Huh?"

Emote laughed. "She took one look at you, saw a rough and tumble cage fighter, and thought `This is my future?'"

Logan grinned. "Yeah, I guess I didn't look like a young woman's fantasy of the perfect life mate."

"That's what she said. But she loves you. Hold onto that. Because you hurt her, your first conversation will go much differently than the last time."

"Thanks." They reached the room Logan was to stay in. He looked. "This is Marie's room." ~Sadness, love~

"Thought you might want to be with her at least this way."

~Gratitude~ "Thanks again."

"Not a problem."

* * *

_Next day_

Marie approached Angelica's front door nervously. She'd spent the night at Emote's cabin, sleeping only because of the `cub', knowing it needed as much help to develop properly as she could give.

She was about to see Logan. Nervous didn't begin to cover how she felt.

* * *

Logan and Emote looked up from their lunch. They had had another session, and were waiting for Rogue.

Logan could scent her, and Emote could feel her.

~Hope, fear, love, guilt, pain, anger, anguish~

They looked at each other. "Marie."

~Love, hope, fear, guilt, pain, anguish, anger~ Logan glanced at the door.

Emote went to it and opened the door before Rogue could knock. "Come in."

Marie entered, her eyes on Logan. Damn, he looked good to her Logan-deprived senses.

Logan was thinking the same thing about Marie. He missed her so much! All he wanted to do was hold her.

Just then, a knock at the kitchen door was heard and a tall, sandy-haired man entered. Emote's face lit up, and she smiled. She gestured toward the hall leading to her room, and the man grinned, blew her a kiss, and left. The two erstwhile lovers barely noticed.

Emote had an idea. She lightly `touched' their minds and showed them the other's feelings.

~Love, hope, pain, fear, anguish, peace, guilt, joy~ Logan

~Love, hope, pain, fear, anguish, peace, guilt, joy~ Marie

/See? More alike than you think. I'm gonna spend time with my man. I suggest you talk through your problem. I've done as much as I can for the moment. If you need me, I'll be in my room./

She left the two lovers staring at each other.

Logan broke the silence. "How've you been?"

Marie looked away. "Okay."

"So…I'm sorry."  
Marie looked at the ground. "It's okay. You can't help the truth."

"It's not the truth. It was fear." That brought her eyes back up to him.

"Fear of what?"

"Of being tied down."

That made Marie mad. They'd been teammates for two years, dating for a year, lovers for nine months, and living together for six. They would be parents in seven months. She had never once asked him for anything but that he be Logan, good and bad. And he was afraid of `being tied down'?

"Don't worry, I won't ask that of you," she bit out. She would have left, but she was tired of running. She would face the dissolution of their relationship face-to-face. Logan would have to run first.

"I-I didn't mean it that way." Logan would have grabbed her arm if he hadn't known that the absorption of him would hurt her too.

"How DID you mean it? Cause it sounded like you don't want to be tied to me. I know I'm not Jean…"

"I DON'T WANT JEAN! I WANT YOU!" Logan roared.

Marie felt a little dizzy. She had not been 100 percent all day. She ignored it. "I don't know that. Your actions tell me otherwise. How am I to believe you?"

"Because I love you! One mistake-granted one huge mistake-and I'm to be condemned? Why?" Logan cried. Was he going to be left alone without her?

"Because I'm afraid, Logan! I've loved you for so long, and after all this time of happiness with you, you call her name! I feel second best!" she cried back.

* * *

Emote was sitting next to her man, Ryan Thomerson. They were holding each other, just holding each other. This week had been tough. He'd been on a business trip, and she'd been… well the mutant version of "Dear Abby". She'd missed him. Suddenly, she pushed away from him. "Something's wrong," she said to Ryan's look at her. "Let's go."

* * *

"Second best? Marie, never, never have you been second best to me! You're the only one for me. I wish there was a way to prove it!" Logan was in agony. The biggest miracle of his life was standing right in front of him, in arm's reach, and he was terrified he was about to lose her.

"I don't know! I…" Marie suddenly paled and clutched her stomach, sinking to the floor.

"MARIE!" Logan was by her side in a second. "What's wrong?"

"Logan, take my hand," she said, holding out her bare hand. Logan hesitated. "You wanna prove I'm not second best? Trust me and take my hand. Please, Logan," she begged at his anguished look," I'm scared."

He grabbed her hand, bracing for the pull. His eyes flew to her when there was none. Just then, Emote and Ryan came flying into the kitchen. Logan's eyes flew to Angelica, then to Marie. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Exactly," Rogue gasped, wincing. At the confused looks she was getting, "Baby. Our baby, Logan. Something's wrong with our baby…our cub."

Logan was agog. Baby? Cub? This was a new twist.

End Part 11


	12. At the Crossroads

Part 12

At the Crossroads

I am SO Sorry this has taken so long to post! RL has been kicking my tail HARD lately.! But here's the next part. Thanks for still reading!

/telepathic/ ~feelings~

Ryan and Logan sat outside the exam room door. The doctor would not let the Wolverine stay because it made the Rogue uneasy. Angelica was sitting by the young mother-to-be's bedside.

Actually, Ryan was sitting. Logan was as close to pacing as could be done on a chair.

Ryan felt for the feral mutant. His woman was in a hospital, the fate of their baby at stake. Ryan also got the impression that the relationship his Emote had been working so hard to rebuild rested on the answer of the doctor inside.

"I love her."

The first words, surprisingly, came from Logan.

"I know."

"She's my…sanity, my sanctuary, ya know? I'd give up everything in my life just to have her safe, happy and by my side, yet I blow it by one stupid word. A name that's not hers."

Emote was a counselor, by trade as well as by gift. Ryan knew only when Emote was working with a client. He'd been told little about this couple, but he knew enough to understand why they had reached into his fiancee's heart.

These two could have been…and had been…Angelica and himself.

"Women are strange, ya know? They're weaker, physically, than men, yet emotionally, they could bench press us into the sky. Part of that emotional strength carries the idea that love is sacred. Ya don't cheat on love. Emote told me once that people don't know how much weight feelings carry. Otherwise, hurting others wouldn't be nearly as easy as it is. You hurt her, Logan. Ya gotta face that."

Logan turned to the other man, his anguish over the situation making him unusually open to revealing his emotions. "But what if she won't let me? What if she leaves me again? I'm barely living as it is, and she's only a room away! And now that we have a baby? I NEED her!"

Ryan sympathized, he really did. He knew what it was like to have your life's happiness wrapped up in one woman. These two, the gruff cage fighter and the untouchable Southern belle, had made a bond that, if shattered, would leave them two lost and wounded souls, two halves of a once whole heart.

"She loves you, Logan. Give her your love in return. That may be all that holds you together right now. That, and that baby inside her."

* * *

Emote hated hospitals. She'd woken from her first bout with insanity in one. But she knew the necessities of being here for Rogue…and the baby inside.

The doctor had told both women that the baby was okay, but that the emotional trauma the mother was going through would have to be resolved, because next time the baby might not be so lucky.

"Doc, can you give us a few minutes before you tell the guys outside?"

The doctor knew of Emote's power, and agreed.

Angelica looked at Marie, holding her bare hand. "You have a choice, Marie. You have to make it now."

Rogue nodded. "What would you do?"

"Listen to my heart, my instincts, and the baby."

/The BABY?/

/Would you like me to show you, or wait for Logan?/

"Wait, I think. So, listen, huh?"

"Yep."

Marie closed her eyes. Using a technique Emote taught her, she blocked all sounds from her ears, all light from her eyes, all taste from her tongue, all scents from her nose, all sensation from her fingers. She went into her private "room", where she could feel only herself and her emotions.

*He hurt me* Do we want him back, though?

The one feeling Marie could hear through her "room" was

/YES/

She opened her eyes. "Call him in."

~*~*~*~*~

Logan felt like he was going to his execution. She was going to leave him. Well, he loved her enough to let her, but he would die inside.

Marie looked at him. "Logan…" She stretched out her hand.

He grasped it, feeling grateful. If nothing else occurred, the fact that Marie could touch others was a gift, one of only many she deserved.

The doctor spoke. "The baby's fine, but the two parents MUST fix what's wrong. It may not be next time."

Emote nodded. "Ya wanna `feel' your baby? I can only do this once. It's difficult for me."

Logan and Marie looked at each other and nodded eagerly. The last thing they wanted to do was hurt Angelica, but they wanted to try.

Emote put one hand on Logan's and one on Marie's stomach. She `connected' the three.

/Mama? Dada? ~warm, wet, safe, happy~/

/Baby/ That thought was both Logan's and Marie's ~happiness, gratitude~

Emote `disconnected' the three and looked at the parents. "We'll let you be."

Crossroads Hospital had often experienced mutants. Redmond was well-known for tolerance of the new brand of humanity.

But rarely had so much of a relationship been riding on words spoken here.

"Can you give me a second chance?"

Marie smiled…and Logan's heart started beating again.

"We can try. We can't continue from where we left off, but we can start again."

Logan was so glad that he'd stood at the crossroads…and was allowed to follow the right path.

So was Angelica, for both their sakes.

End part 12

This is NOT the end of the story, guys. I promise there's more to appear!


End file.
